According to Wikipedia selfishness means, "Selfishness is being concerned excessively or exclusively, for oneself or one's own advantage, pleasure, or welfare, regardless of others. Selfishness is the opposite of altruism or selflessness; and has also been contrasted with self-centeredness." (Wikipedia, 2022)
Similarly to wikis views society has deemed selfishness as a negative trait usually assigned to narcissists and sociopaths. But what if I told you that selfishness is actually necessary. When I was doing my research ,another word within the definition stood out to me- "selfless" Selflessness is defined as "concern more with the needs and wishes of others than with one's own" according to google search . However the irony is that in order to nurture, love, or care for others you have to love yourself. Putting yourself first is absolutely essential especially in today’s time with having gone through one of the worst pandemics in US history, Living in a highly politicized time right now and overall general world issues. It's no wonder why people haven't made the time to focus on themselves.
Since moving to LA I feel like everywhere that I turn a corner I always hear someone talking about either crystals, sound baths, self-help books, yoga, Pilates, modeling and acting- everything is centered around themselves! No one else quite understands being selfish like people in Los Angeles! It takes time and discipline to figure out your inner workings. That's why I have a strong admiration for the LA natives because they work hard to accomplish their dreams. Similarly when you research and take the time to raise your own lush garden. You figure out the best Soil you’ll need, the special conditions best for blooming- all of that can be applied to you! Ask yourself, What do you need to do to bloom into the best version of yourself?
Why its important:
We’re all navigating this world to the best of our abilities. Unfortunately we don't come with a manual on how or what to do with ourselves. It’s a wonderful journey- all of it! Even the heartbreaks, the sorrow, the pain , the emptiness, can still be rewarding if you shift your perspective. We come into this world alone and we will leave this world alone. Remember to love yourself more than you love your bf/gf, your mother, grandparents, friends , because if you can’t help yourself then how can you expect to show up for those around you?
Ways to be more SELFISH:
Tyra Banks famously said " take responsibility for yourself because no-one is gonna take responsibility for you". Being selfish is self responsibility, hence the title of this post. Here I've compiled a quick list of my top 3 methods on ways to help yourself.
Positive self talk: When I was going through a serious mental transformation this was one of the first techniques I adopted. If we can catastrophize and make belief negative situations then we can easily conjure up a positive thought. Imagine things working out for you. Like any new routine It takes time to build it into a routine but I promise it will be so worth it.
Meditation/prayer: A mantra that I've repeated to myself over the years is, "live a life mentally, physically, and spiritually at peace. "
Make time for you: Do things your 9 year old self would love to do. Especially now that you have more access to resources. Also don't take life too seriously. Enjoy it- the world is your playground.
If you cant show up for yourself then how can you show up for anyone else? That's the fundamental question to ask yourself. Selfish, or selfless whatever word you choose remember, selfishness is self responsibility. This life is too short to not focus on bettering yourself so you can show up for those you love. You live in this real estate for ever. You can’t escape you. Help yourself be happy every day and live in the moment.... no matter what!
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